I'm realizing how much losing the ability to use my car affected me.
On the outside, and even to myself, I seemed to just accept it and move on.
On the inside though things must have been really different.
I look around my home and everything is a mess and I know that generally means that my internal world is not happy.
I'm still very dedicated to doing this. Even though it's a very long time in transit each day that I work (generally 3 hours each way). I think this is one of those decision moments in my life. I feel that if I don't do this, and I borrow the money to fix the car, that I will end up being in debt for the rest of my life and somehow if I go forward with doing a year without my car that it will change that. I can't tell you how that is true, but I hope it is.
The other side is that I really want the government to tighten it's purse strings and pay down / off it's debt and I can't ask everyone else to take the austerities that would create if I'm not willing to do that on a personal level.
I've started getting my life back together; I've been cleaning some and I got some library books returned, paid the fines, etc... (yes, losing the ability to drive does affect everything!) I still have audio books to return to a different (farther away) library system, but at least I called them and explained the situation and they renewed the books for me so that I'm not accruing any more fines.
No comments:
Post a Comment