Tuesday 01/08/2013 - The Experiment didn't work

Tuesday - 01/08/2013

I have declared the year of doing without my car a failure.

Not in the bad sense of the word...  just in the fact that it really didn't help to pay off the bills.

More things broke...  

I lost income because I wasn't home to post on eBay, etc...

On the other hand, I learned SO much..

and I think I became more of a grown-up person..

and I think now I'm ready to make a success of something.

So, I'm just reminding myself that Edison and Einstein and all the others had LOTS of failures before they made one great thing.

Plus there are some awesome mental changes:

a.)  I'm physically better at getting places on time / getting myself to leave at the right time / not pushing the boundaries.  (though I do have to practice more with a car and those time frames - I still know that it has changed.)

b.)  I figured out that I have a really hard time setting aside / letting go of / putting away  "for now".  This is huge and has been negatively affecting EVERY part of my life, without me even knowing it!

c.)  I figured out that I keep wanting to re-invent the wheel and not look and see what others know that could help me....  thus creating failure or at least not as much success.  (ex: eBay and the fact that I never once (until recently) listened to the radio broadcasts or took advantage of their offers to offer suggestions!)

d.)  I figured out that while I said I was doing eBay seriously, and I probably was for where I was at the time, I wasn't really doing eBay seriously.

e.)  I realized that while I might be able to get back into programming right now (and thus make the money to get the car and pay off debts), that I really like the freedom I have right now...  freedom to spend time with the grandkids, etc...  and that I still think I can make a go of this.  

I'm still committed to doing without my car for the rest of the time, but I'm starting now to try and figure out what I can do about getting a vehicle and how to pay for it, etc...

That part is really depressing.  I'm still in debt.  It would still be $3000 to fix my car and it still only cost $4000 so probably isn't worth putting $3000 into, and I still don't know where the money to fix it or to buy a new car will come from.